Protect yourself and your children but be very wise about it. You probably want to feel like he has some kind of feelings inside so he has some humanity inside and you would feel more connected if he was also suffering. and the list could go on and on.. He left one night and was missing i was so worried days went by i kept texing . Do you know the scorpion and the frog story? I totally expected the ex to call back and bitch but he didnt. . They merely put their partners in a figurative storage lockeron an indefinite silent treatment, if you will. You both deserve better. And every time I think to myself a real narcissist would never apologizewould never admit his frailty. But once I pick him upremind him of his valuetell him I believe in him and see his strengthits only a matter of days or weeks before he finds a reason to fight and the silent treatment begins. Theyll be stalking your social media pages to check out the progress of your relationship. Not intentionally, just when you are child growing up in that, that is all you know and that is your comfort zone, on a nearly subconscious level. Happy with girlfriend, but thinks you guys should be friends Translation: Somethings not on the up and up and/or he has discovered some way that getting back in touch with you will benefit him. He put me to the test and I never heard from him again for seven years.. until last week! (Her favourite flower a Narcissus/Daffodil). He will never change, hes not capable. He told me he ussualy forgets that he loves me so much. Once the child pulls away, be prepared for the father to respond in ways that cause the child extreme pain. I was upset and I confronted him. -Kristen. So, by doing a good deed and letting her borrow that money, I get in return NO money back AND cut completely from her life. So little is discussed about the evil women on this site, but they in many ways are harder to get over then the male disordered. Your ex does not have any kind of emotional attachment to you. He withheld his banking information from me, but needed access to mine. This is all about them. His last email this week was that he would prefer to speak to me not email, and that tomorrow isnt promised, and if/when Im ready I know how to reach him. He does recognize there is a problem with his lack of empathy and admitted to me he fakes that emotion a lot. Block him from texting, calling, email, FB. How do you get someone who keeps calling your number while you NEVER answer it to leave you alone? I said what is there to be scared of. So, does this mean, he is not into her and wants to come home but making it hell for me to show power and control. And they then have the audacity to comment that you have caused irreparable damage during the relationship! She actually blocked me from her social media within just a few short weeks of me sending her a few texts about wondering where my money was. I am sane enough to get away from him and no longer put up with his narcissistic, messed up personality. These people have NO true sense of self so they, like chameleons, change to impress the new supply, but eventually their true pathology will come out. Grow stronger and confident. So pretty sure this last year has been my growing beyond his crap year, so I could be strong enough to leave him in my dust. I used to wish I was the other woman at first until I fully accepted that my ex was a Narc/Psychopath (diagnosed). I came across this at a time where I so desperately needed it. We have gone through a lot so we are stronger then ever and then most couples. Pray to Jesus Carole. I thought it was good to have him as a friend because i have no friends here. You wont see it coming, it will be a very strategic, and calculated move, and theyll wait until youre at your most vulnerable to attack. Anonymous, hes not into anyone but himself. If he is a true Narcissist (without empathy) then there is no sense getting back in touch with him. 2. I let him in my home he changed over night became verbally abusive controlling manipulating . Disbelieve hurt, angry, could eat or sleep and had no strenght to go even to the toilet. He knows he is messed up and he apologized profusely for messing us up. He knew what to say. Keep reading Kims stuff as she is so knowledgeable with a huge heart for victims! Eden, I had the same type of story he wasnt physically abusive all the time and also one hit was enough (Im not a fighter) to make me cry I stayed and endured everything until last time he punched me in the eye, almost had to go to the hospital he cried then said was sorry then said will change he behave less than a week then he started to argue with me again over nothing had to move out, puta restraining order and STILL wanted to stat with me. When you click on SEND.. its sooo sad feeling. I struggle with the fact that years later he tried to deny our relationship (his words and actions too). | Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, Trauma Dumping: When Venting to Family and Friends Turns Unhealthy, 8 Disturbing Reasons Narcissists Stay Friends with Their Exes, Narcissism Is Not Neurodivergence: Why We Need to Stop Grouping Them Together, 4 Types of Trauma Narcissists Inflict On Valentines Day. And make no mistake: the BPD will be laughing/orgasming with their Newest Vessel as you plummet to your death. My neighbors helped and got mevtonhospiral. He took on my other three kids from previous marriage. I found that to be the case with me when I dug really deep. Every conversation came back to him. He was cruel the first week, he was just heartless. They have gained absolutely nothing by doing this to us Everything Kim wrote above fits my ex narcissist girl friend to a T. So Briana, don't feel it's the nature of men. But very unattractive, theres no getting around it. I am in the same boat. Thank god I got a new job that it will provide for me and my son to move out, otherwise I would have been screwed. I can see now after 4 months, why other ppl kept saying they are a better person because of the N. I sure learned the importance of boundaries and trust my gut. It will only be a matter of time before he does this again. She would never admit she was wrong and her mood change at the drop of a hat. This is likely due to the fact that narcissists are not capable of forming meaningful relationships and are more focused on their own needs and desires. Hi Kim ,Ive been with my narcissist for seventeen years two teenagers I have sole custody ,had order of protection ,domestic violence center never helped me I just lost all my marital assets in divorce settlement ,plus I have to pay him off a lot of money that I dont have he just got a huge settlement from his personal injury case ,can you explain to me why the court let the narcissist to get away with all the lies ,I almost lost my custody because I asked for more child support, Im so disappointed with the court system for the last four years Ive been calling all the possible organizations for help all I heard we cant help you you have to hire a lawyer and I did so my ex called my lawyer even when he had his own my question is how bad you have to be hurt by a narcissist to get help from the system, I work part time and I have to pay off a soon to be a millionaire. She would constantly tell me how highly she speaks of me to him. Although the dad loved that dog more than anything, it was a threat to his family now and he had to get rid of it. So, you know better about your situation. And time is passing. Well, I mulled over giving it to her because I made the mistake of picking up the phone and he tried to brow beat me into it but later, I thought it out.he bought it to replace my freezer which makes it a gift, so no, as much as I love his mother, in fact, it saddens me that she wont end up being my mother in law, I only told her about the freezer when I was unloading my plans to leave, which was a mistake. Especially because your son is involved. I met this wonderful woman who rocked my world we we both 29. I apologize or Im sorry without actions matching for a long time are not true sorries Cling on to your gut which is Get Out!!! On the other hand that voice Dont do it!! Shes going to fall just like the rest and I cant say anything. IF its true, and that is a BIG IF, she may just stroke his emotional ego sooo much that he doesnt care. I left her and my main concern now would be what if she comes back to mefrom stories I read they always come back I dont know how I would proceeded depending on what she will say even though I learned about all the shady tactics and such.. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. -Alienation from family and/or friends She doesnt even bother with the dog anymore, which is why I think shes gone for good this time. It happens slowly, over timeso that when the relationship comes to an end the victim doesnt know who they are anymore. proclamations of love ( my friends should say now.. yeah right you Always say this) I just sort of got used to listening to how wonderful she was, how everybody loved her, how all men wanted her. A checklist of narcissistic douche-canoe behaviors | Process of Elimination. Funny thing is Eden, she says oh he is happy now, blah blah, and she told me the reason he could not get it up is because he stopped liking me as a person. if you imagine this group like stars in the galaxy the abusers feel like orbiting black holes I have to keep well away from them its exhausting and so I have never felt in the correct mental place to clip into my glider and take off to fly to do that you need to have your mind up there in the clouds free and clear thinking about the birds and feeling only the air you need to be free and I have not been now for more than 6 months and diminished for a year before that, So if this is anything it is an attempt to move forward and try to step further away from what happened and to be honest I really feel I need some support I feel very vulnerable and alone this whole thing has destroyed my sense of community I have no casual social contact with any of the pilots who I know talk a bit together every day I have none of that I see a small group once a week in the pub where we just talk about stuff like normal people its them who admonished me for wanting to ignore this offer and so it was this my last foothold that fell away when I asked for advice normal people simply do not understand the dynamic of NPD explaining it makes you seem like a total nutter, I know I am taking a risk I know that this is common behaviour this coming back it is destabilising a fragile but doggedly tenacious recovery but I also realise its only me who is going to recover no one is going to do it for me and so like in that quote from my book I am doing a thing and shutting my eyes in hope that it will be better somehow. My ex really really did try harder with me and I know this for a fact but it was always precipitated by me dumping him. Knowledge is power! Even when we know it is not our fault, and start to see things clearer, there are still those days where it hurts like it was yesterday. Eden, in response to your question: I was responding to tiredofliars8 specifically (just in case you thought I was responding to you). What an incredible article. Reading your comment was as if I had written it myself. I find myself wondering if he learned anything from this, or wondering if he misses me sometimes. Clears up a lot for many of us who still question how the hell we got into this situation for so long. He also had dozens of hobbies and it changes every 6-12 months. I dont answer. Its spiritual and transcends friendship. Did the narcissist leave you for a new love and is now having second thoughts? It is a shock to one to realize that you were not in the real world at age 60. I will never see my loving daughter again from this mess, as she is studying in France. I did..and regretted it of course. He said I was thinking stupid and that there was nothing there Next thing you know he ended it with me, totally ended it. I new no one in dayton new to the area married for twenty eight years grievieng hard . Therspist didnt mention anything about narcissism but one Christmas eve my ex narc left mw stranded. I keep seeking closure or caring that I know will never come. Thats my very intention for writing them . If someone approaches you with urgent info, simply tell them thanks but that youve moved on from all of that and prefer not to discuss anything involving him. Once I tore off his mask, the abuse got worse. Hes a lost cause unfortunately. What confuses me the most is how my ex tries to get me to contact him first before he would, say hallo usually by text. "Apologizing" for their behavior. After six moths she was pregnant. 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