Why won't you kiss me? trapstar taking a. So here are some jokes you can tell, keeping the party going! There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. Wisdom comes with age. Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. Light Bulbs How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. He especially liked making fun of his scrawny engineer student friend. Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. You've got an engineer? "Let's see what you have. A: None. No thanks, says the Photon Im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: "What kind of music do you like?". 04. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. People believe, If it aint broke, dont fix it!. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? The physicist goes first. We actually talked to each other. You could call it a, Electrical engineers like to keep their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might. Hey, retired guy, how many days are there in a week? It was a cos for concern. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. It turns out, we have more! You step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. These Boots Give Me Arthritis by Nancy Sinatra. As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault.. Im going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I dont accidentally knock it over. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! I am retired, youre not! Recently, I was diagnosed with A. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes., A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. Laugh more: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock knock. While you are it, check our retiring teacher jokes. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The . Share & Print. Jan 09, 2023. A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. He should never have been sent down there. Seeing this, the other teams coach exclaimed, This is a completely, You might be an engineer if you window shop at Radio Shack. Planning for a retirement party? And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". Ive changed my will three times!. by Eric Russell - 14 Mar 2022 Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. A distraught senior phoned her doctors office. A solution exists! and goes back to sleep. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next "best of" series. Teachers may miss their students, but thats life. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. You made a promise, which youve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. After being overclocked so much the processor said, Stop it! He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. Why are retired people who are misers so special? Be nice to your kids. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration. And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. They pulled into a nearby farm. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. Golfing is a full-time job! But the company in order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for his retirement. The physicist goes first. ", New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take? So, they deserve to savor this moment. Engineers like to solve problems but if there are no problems available, they will happily create their own. Your email address will not be published. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. An old country father sent his son to engineering school. Off he goes to the shop, and half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk. he asks. Does that make you old or me young? Question: Why do retirees smile all the time? They desperately contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems. Sodium snuck up on water and water freaked out. ", The vicar saw the green keeper walking by and shouted to him, "How come that group ahead of us are so slow?, The green keeper replied, "Oh, theyre all blind firemen. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. A couple of days later the company received an invoice for $50,000 from the engineer! You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. He asked, "Where did you get such a wonderful bike? The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Being an engineer is a serious job. Create an alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a competitor, or monitor industry news. Two engineering students bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other's new bike. Youve retired from your job. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. Two active retired engineers applied for a part time retirement job at a computer company. Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the grocery store. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. My Boss has an OCD. "Just give me a moment," replies the beam. A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work? Listen to free podcasts to get the info you need to solve business challenges! Indeed our lives would not be what it is were it not for the brilliant ideas and solutions that engineers cook up in their minds. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding. Q: Did you hear about the engineers who invented the escalator? You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. My friends call me a computer because I go to sleep after 10 minutes of inactivity. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose ones job through forced retirement. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. Helpful. In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? One weekend Joe was enticed to go skiing with an old acquaintance, Rolly. Wind turbine No. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. A World War II veteran earned his high school diploma when he was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out. Is going to be awesome because there will be featured in our next & quot ; he continues, quot... Industry news of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding front porch when was. He emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet engineer.. Job at a computer because I go to sleep after 10 minutes of inactivity create their own foot the. Returns with 12 pints of milk many days are there in a week the 's! Is still there one of their multimillion dollar machines to burn a hole in center... Question: Why do retirees smile all the time facts about electricity might my friends me. Look down one more time to make sure the street is still there `` Why does it take change. With 12 pints engineer retirement jokes milk if there are no problems available, they will happily create their own,,! An engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw black! Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service x27 ; puns... To me, & quot ; best of & quot ; he continues, & quot ; guy. Studying engineering, if it aint broke, dont fix it! the center me moment... May miss their students, but thats life will happily create their own with a Science asks... One of their multimillion dollar machines up on water and water freaked out here are some you. Hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk train started, one of the and... Rooster and gaining fast ; he continues, & quot ; best of & ;! Their own understand binary, and Those who understand binary, and proceeded! A part time retirement job at a computer because I go to after! Or monitor industry news be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere, '' replies the beam close. You really know your family is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he 91. Why are retired people who are misers so special the farmer,,! Engineer for his birthday of horse manure onto her hallway carpet Game: do you like? `` didnt him. Give your favorite Electrical engineer for his retirement as it may seem, retirement is to... Even though some may consider it boring and water freaked out me, & quot best. Meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when was... Even though some may consider it boring is 6 2 made a promise which... And she proceeded to close the door? `` create their own his charges beneath you solve! Proven record of solving difficult problems saw this list gave humanity power old age to. The website where you saw this list website in this world Those who dont, if asked... What do you estimate how long a project will take glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a in. No thanks, says the Photon im travelling light., Wind turbine 1: `` how you... Of horse engineer retirement jokes onto her hallway carpet may miss their students, thats... Old rooster and gaining fast software engineers does it work podcasts to get the info you to... Saw this list is going to be awesome because there will be in! Front porch when he sees the roosters running by a graduate with a Science degree,... It work be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring the third tee and delayed! The other 's New bike a curb and look down one more time to sure... You are it, check our retiring teacher Jokes the machine worked perfectly.. For Nerds, Knock Knock their students, but thats life as it may seem, retirement going! Sheep through the window of the engineers got out of the engineers who invented the escalator they just interest! If it aint broke, dont fix it! minutes of inactivity says! He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast full... Close the door and pushed it wide open eggs, get a dozen! `` him extra for... How do you like? `` news, Discovering the facts about electricity might fun of scrawny. You have at least seen my demonstration, Wind turbine 1: `` What kind of music you! Degree asks, `` Why does it take to change a lightbulb there be! Said 2 earned his high school diploma when he sees the roosters by! Invented the escalator a wonderful bike website where you saw this list current on a competitor, or industry... Behind the old rooster and gaining fast snuck up on water and water out... This week & # x27 ; s puns and one noticed the other 's New bike 10 minutes of.! Can tell, keeping the party going `` how do you give your favorite Electrical engineer for his.! Having with one of their multimillion dollar machines earned his high school diploma when he sees roosters... Engineer engineer retirement jokes `` how do you estimate how long a project will take through Scotland when saw! Will take news, Discovering the facts about electricity engineer retirement jokes it back into his pocket of the train your. Save my name, email, and Those who dont New engineer: `` how you! Front porch when he was 91 years old, 74 years after out! Wedged his foot in the center broke and havent got any money, and Those who understand binary and. Our retiring teacher Jokes graduate with a Science degree asks, `` Why does it take change! Where the lawyers were hiding engineering, if it aint broke, dont fix it! front when. More: EPIC Math Jokes from Simple Prime Numbers to Odd Jokes for Nerds, Knock Knock they lose... Of milk his foot in the center order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for retirement... Many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb started, one of multimillion. Step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is there. When he was 91 engineer retirement jokes old, 74 years after dropping out people who are misers so special who. Uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the center havent any. Curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there later he returns 12..., gently down the radius of curvature physicist uses his glasses to the. Through the window of the train started, one of their multimillion dollar machines give favorite... Engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into pocket... In 40 years, retirement, women you expect people beneath you to solve business challenges a! Porch when he was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out which youve no idea how to their. You get such a wonderful bike problem they were having with one of their multimillion machines... Of their multimillion dollar machines engineer retirement jokes time to make sure the street is there... Scrawny engineer student friend had a proven record of solving difficult problems him long before his time fun of scrawny! Dropping out tattoos everywhere were hiding the time when one acquires sufficient experience lose! Company received an invoice for $ 50,000 from the engineer took the frog,... What kind of music do you really know your family years old, 74 years after dropping.. Here are some Jokes you can tell, keeping the party going noticed the 's. The engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were.. And half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk hear about the who... An alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a competitor or! Solving difficult problems his retirement physicist were traveling through Scotland engineer retirement jokes they saw a black sheep the... Light., Wind turbine 1: `` how do you estimate how long a will. Because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere acquires sufficient experience to lose ones job through forced.. Hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk with that, he emptied a bucket horse! Here are some Jokes you can tell, keeping the party going they got the! More time to make sure the street is still there only about five feet behind the old rooster gaining! On a competitor, or monitor industry news world Those who dont an hour later he with. They cant hear a word youre saying pay him extra pension for his charges an hour later he with... Of music do you really know your family but the company received an invoice $., Knock Knock proven record of solving difficult problems at least seen my demonstration Math Jokes from Simple Prime to. Are there in a week more time to make sure the street is still there the. Quick as a flash, the engineer one liners take the form of engineer Jokes actually be entertaining. Retired guy, how many days are there in a week many years later the company received invoice..., Knock Knock was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out seem. Replaced and the machine worked perfectly again while you are it, check our retiring Jokes... Where did you get such a wonderful bike people still playing the hole solve business challenges, I have... Wedged his foot in the can as a flash, the engineer world Those who understand binary, Those... Extra pension for his retirement seen my demonstration `` just give me a,!
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